Monday, March 11, 2013

Tank 344 - 10 March 2K13 - Battleship: the Movie wasn't as bad as everyone said!

I refueled the Mighty Corolla last night at the Fas Mart near the library again. 10.784 gallons, 381.7 miles, so it was 35.40 mpg. Not that good, but not that far below my average for the year so far (35.49 mpg).

It was 16 days between tanks this time. Year-to-date average days between fill-ups is 14.67 days. Due to the timing of this fill-up, and adding evening soccer practice trips into the mix (soccer season starts this wek for 2/3 of the young ones), I expect this tank will be used up faster than average.

Over the weekend I watched Battleship:" the Movie Based on the Hasbro Game." It wasn't bad! I basically enjoyed it.

I think I understand why critics didn't like it. 1) Americans had to give control to the Japanese in order to start winning against the aliens. 2) The Austrailian band AC/DC's song "Thunderstruck" was played almost in its entirety during a musical montage. 3) The Jeff Goldblum character, ressurected from "Independence Day," didn't get to be the hero, he only walked around saying "I tild you this would happen! You didn't listen to me, and here we are! I told you things wouldn't be good when the aliens found us!" and basically whines the whole movie. 4) The heroes at the end were WWII veterans! OLD MEN!

I will expound on these reasons here:

1) Hollywood bashed "Independence Day" because it was entirely the Americans who saved the world. I remember reviews that were critical about how the British, Koreans, Russians, and the rest of the armed world were shown just saying "it's about time those Yankees saved us!" and the movie critics though that was too jingoistic. So Battleship lets our Japanese friends lead the way (although just temporarily). Clearly, film critics don't like it that way either. Maybe next time the North Koreans will save the planet and they'll be satisfied. Probably not because it'll just be North Korean men and no women who do it...

2) Thunderstruck gets no respect. But it rocks. Film critics don't understand, I guess, because maybe they just think the only song by AC/DC worthy of immortalization in film is "Back in Black." I beg to differ.

3) The Jeff Goldblum character was clearly a rip off from "Independence Day." He stunk the place up, this can't be denied. Happily, he was only in a few scenes. But his lines in each scene were the same "I told you it would be crap! But did you listen? NOOOO!!" He was forgettable. And he had bad hair.

4) No way movie critics will respect members of the Greatest Generation as still being capable of kicking ass. I suppose they'll be happy when those guys are all dead, but you know what? We'll just make movies that take place in the '90s so they can still have WWII veterans in them! They are the Greatest Generation for a reason, folks, and that's because they went over there while still teenagers and did what they were told to do and they were victorious. And lots of them were killed. Those guys are tough as nails, lucky sumbitches who deserve our respect. But Hollywood film critics don't understand that, either. Probably Hollywood filmmakers, too, but somehow this got into the movie. And for that, I am thankful.

So, to sum things up, 3/4 of the movie points listed here are good. That's a solid C grade, bordering on B-minus, because AC/DC and old guys add bonus points.

Good entertainment. Good movie. Battleship!

No comments:

Post a Comment